Physical abuse alone is not sufficient for a person to know that he/she is in an abusive relationship. Unreasonable /extreme jealousy, no intimacy, angry outbursts, unfulfilled promises, control attitudes, forced sex, unfaithfulness all are warning signs that a person may be in an abusive relationship. Abusers act out of feelings of inadequacy and shame, and they may themselves have been victims of childhood emotional, physical and even sexual abuse. They degrade their partners to make themselves feel better. Abuse is usually a family dysfunction that repeats itself through generations. The abused becomes the abuser, and so the vicious pattern continues unless help is sought.
It would be better to detach yourself from a relationship if the abuser refuses to acknowledge his/her behavior and get help. At that time, this detachment may hurt a person, but it is much better than allowing the abuse to continue. The abuse will increase upon detachment. This will infuriate the abuser as it breaks their concept of being in control. Most women murdered by their abusive partners are murdered when they have terminated the relationship and have left. Women especially must learn how to take care of themselves and protect themselves. Separation is extremely difficult, but if you love the person, it becomes all the more difficult, but that may be the best and only thing to do.
The signs of abuse are Jealousy or extraordinary possessiveness. Jealousy is the foremost symptom of an abusive relationship. It is also the key factor of sexual or love addiction: He/she is very bossy and demanding and tries to exercise control always.
Wants to isolate you by trying to severe all your social contacts and relationships with other people Looses his/her temper quickly and is violent. Drinks too much or uses other drugs excessively. Usually blames the other person for his/her emotional drawbacks and other issues, and also for mistreatment. The person has a history of unstable relationships.
You have been warned by your family or friends about the person, or being told that they are worried about your personal safety or emotional well being. You are concerned about his/her reaction to anything you do. Humiliates or demeans you by saying things that embarrass you in front of family and friends. He/she grew up in a abusive parental relationship, or was abused as a child. Your partner files into fits of anger whey they are hurt, shamed and lose control. You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know that this is the best thing to do. Abusive relationships require therapy. It is impossible to change these relationships from one side. It takes effort from both parties to sort out and work through these issues.
